Alice’s sciatica

This is the story of Alice who accepted to share with you her experience of her sciatica. She wrote this post and allowed me to translate it in English and publish it here. I am grateful for this, as sharing lived experiences is extremely valuable.

Part 1: The vicious circle

It all started in October 2018; I was 26 years old. After a hectic cycling session, I woke up overnight physically unable to stand up. A radiating pain was seizing me and prevented me from moving my back. It was a sciatica of the left leg. I was prescribed anti-inflammatory medication and a large amount of bed-rest until pain went away (which I deeply regret now). This vicious circle lasted almost 3 years with episodes: I was having medication and bed-rest every 2-3 months. Besides physical pain, which was invisible for others, I was feeling really bad. I was constantly wondering: “Why was it happening to me despite the fact that I always have been making efforts to have a perfect lifestyle?” I was a high-level athlete, I was exercising, I was not drinking alcohol, was not smoking … I decided I would find the mechanical cause of my symptoms.

Part 2: The end of the vicious circle and the beginning of physiotherapy

During these 3 years, I developed a fear of movement. I feared experiencing my back pain. In consequence, to “be safe”, I avoided every activity as I thought they were dangerous: I stopped lifting heavy things, I stopped bending forward without bending the knees, I stopped physical activity … Basically, I avoided using my back to protect it. Despite all my precautions, I was still experiencing many episodes of severe pain and still could not identify the cause. It continued until June 2021, where for the first time, anti-inflammatory medication did not help any more. I was suffering day and night, and I could barely sleep because the pain was waking me up. I was then prescribed an MRI and its conclusion was that I had a disc herniation. I was then immediately referred to a specialist to have injections. The issue was that this option terrified me as one of my relatives had a bad experience with injections. In consequence, I decided to get a second opinion with various doctors. One of them suggested to try physiotherapy.

Part 3: what I learned with physiotherapy.

I did not know what physiotherapy was, but I had great expectations about it. During the first session, I learn that, as many of us, I was misinformed about back pain and that bed-rest may actually be unhelpful. As well as physiotherapy sessions, I started to progressively go back to my normal life and tried to be less cautious about using my back (I started lifting things, go back to sport etc). As I was really involved in the process, I did my exercises between sessions with great diligence. I felt better but not done: my progression was really fluctuating, and I had that feeling of weakness in my left leg that never left me. I also was struggling to understand why I was not cured despite taking that therapeutic approach seriously.

It was when I read a scientific paper about back pain that it finally made sense. I understood that my back pain was not necessarily only linked with a mechanical factor but could also be linked with psychological factors. I realised that in one hand, I was expecting too much of my physiotherapist which created an adverse pressure for quick fix; and in the other hand I was doing my exercises in a robotic way without trying to feel their effects on me and hence not knowing what was good for me and what was not. As I was frustrated by not finding a mechanical cause after all these years; I kept digging in the psychological field winding up until 2018. This is when I realised that this year (2018) had been emotionally overwhelming, as I lost one of my parents few months before the onset of my pain. As I am introverted, it may be likely that my distress expressed itself throughout my back pain. After accepting all this, I approached my physiotherapy sessions with a new perspective: being more connected to my feelings, my body’s sensations and being resilient. Since then, sessions have been more helpful.

Part 4: My life today

I am now able to cope and manage my pain, which means I can identify what exercises are helpful for me according to how I feel. I am not cured, I may never be, but I am happy to be back to an (almost) normal life!

Alice